Parenting Archives

Raising Your Children Alight

By Victoria

The Spiritual family is the union of One for Its purpose, Its fulfillment - the revelation of Its Glory here on earth.

What is THAT?

In Truth there is only God, Spirit, Consciousness, One.

There is no 'mother', 'father', 'child'; there is only The One Being expressing individually and uniquely as 'each' family member.

This is the first great awareness of the spiritual family. The moment you as parent realize the Truth and live THERE, your family is free to live as Its expression of the One, each family member uniquely.

Once the concepts of parent/child are dropped for the truthful Light they all are, all are freed to be their Spiritual Truth and Purpose.

Make The Within The Without

The greater harmony is experienced as the within IS the without.

Imagine dropping ALL concern in regards to your parents AND your children. Take a moment to feel what that really feels like.

Here's an example: my 18 year-old son walks out of the door for football practice, and a holiday weekend with his buddies (where 'humanly' there COULD BE danger lurking) but there is NO CONCERN WHATSOEVER.

There is no concern because I, as spiritual parent, know that he is 100 percent connected to Self and Spirit and My Consciousness which is an umbrella of Light.

In other words, he is fine. Everything is fine.

Now imagine your children dropping ALL concern for THEIR lives, THEIR future, THEIR expression, THEIR choices, THEIR everything.

Then you as spiritual parent are able to take on the role of just witnessing, serving, knowing. Releasing God.

Imagine experiencing the 'Peace that passes all understanding' each day as the family experiences its True expression. Since this is unknown you're now dwelling only in the knowing that God Is.

If you know that your children are already done – in other words, if you know that your kids are Spirit, therefore Whole and Complete - it is being that awareness all the time that makes it possible for you to see through to their truth regardless of the apparent circumstances.

That might seem impossible to do because of fear. When fear is triggered we’re back to all having a human experience – and that’s what keeps one from seeing the truth in anything and everything.

Fear - Two Main Types

Let us say that there are two main types of fear: triggered (reactive) fear and pervasive (overall) fear. One needs to be surrendered and the other needs to be healed.

Pervasive fear needs to be surrendered, such as fear of terminal illness, abduction, drug addiction, criminal behavior. These fears are constant. "I am always fearful that my child will get a terminal illness"... from 2 years old, to 22 to 52. No matter what the child's age is, this fear always exists. This type of pervasive fear is dissolved by its being identified and then surrendered.

Surrendering occurs by the willingness to have the particular fear happen, BECAUSE "Fear not, it is I". So, "if you are real, show yourself. If you are false, be gone."

In Truth there is NOTHING BUT "I" therefore it is time for me to PROVE THAT TRUTH.

The way I achieved, and continue to, the dissolving of my fears is to first identify them, and say to each and every one of them, "Show me. Show me who or what you are. Bring it on." As I've shared, of the thousands of fears identified and surrendered (dissolved), only ONE occurred - and it had nothing to do with the children.

The second type of fear is the triggered (reactive) type. This indicates forgiveness work. This fear is triggered because of something still living within you from the past that needs dissolving through forgiveness.

I will discuss the art of forgiveness in a future segment.

Peace In The Pause

Our opportunity as parents is to meet our own conditioning and dissolve it. How you know you haven’t yet met your own conditioning is when there is no 'peace in the pause'.

By 'pause' I mean every moment your child is in your midst, in your thought, in your dealings, and even in the unknown depths of your consciousness.

Here - right now - is a 'pause'. Where is your consciousness right now?

Where there once was worry or anger there is now peace each time your child is in your thought, or you are dealing with him or her.

Peace in those moments of pause is achieved by your being lifted in consciousness. It is the conscious remembrance - realization - that your child is actually the visible expression of God Itself; the realization that only God Is.

In this way you can see that it is mostly our (as parents) awareness that needs adjustment rather than ANYTHING to do with the children.

Your children come in already finished - Complete, Whole, Perfect. Enjoy their unfoldment!

If a flower hasn’t yet blossomed fully you do not say to yourself, "That flower has a problem". As we marvel at the young flower we simply enjoy each moment of its unfolding expression. We never say to a budding flower, "What is wrong with you? There are hundreds of bees out there needing you, why aren’t you prepared for what's to come?"... as if nature doesn’t already have it covered.

In this same way, why ever doubt Truth’s unfoldment happening as your child? Or is it your own truth you doubt?

Consciousness Is Experience

Remember, consciousness is experience therefore check what's happening as your consciousness right now.

Whom are you serving, God or mammon? Where is your consciousness? Is it in Truth or appearance? Are you knowing God as your child, or an appearance that is separate form God?

Hence the 'peace in the pause'. Every time your child comes to your thought, lift consciousness to God awareness AS your child.

Then, knowing your child is Whole, and unfolding perfectly and naturally (as the flowers), your higher awareness - even if there is fear (triggers) that we as parents experience along the way - saves cluttering your child with more conditioning. In this freedom from conditioning, your child is 'released' to discover more of the Truth he or she already IS.

Once I get free, everybody walks free.


It is always a question of Faith. Our Faith, the One Faith.

For instance, if my teenager gets a parking ticket and I have fear about money and paying for it, I am going to make it into a lesson and a big deal which drags both my child and myself back into humanhood.

It is not to say we didn't fail to read the signs or misunderstand why the ticket was given. We did not miss THAT point. But because I didn't add my own conditioning it was 'just a parking ticket' rather than an opportunity for me to express my fear about money.

If my child's purpose is to discover his truth – that he hears something that lifts his consciousness – then if I have dragged him down into the human condition he is distracted from hearing that truth and discovering another aspect of his true purpose.

I have cluttered his consciousness at this moment. The utmost importance to me is keeping children connected to their 'still, small voice' - as I live by 'mine'. Monkey see; monkey do.


I always ask, about any circumstance or situation, will this matter in five years? If the answer is "no" then it is not a big deal. Subsequently when my child experiences a disappointment it won’t be a big deal either.

As the parent I know the truth, therefore I know what to emphasize; I know where the italics go in every situation. Those italics are always what is True not what is false, not the clutter of life.

I know what's important in each situation (Truth), and what's not important, and I refuse to spend time on what's not important.

Spiritual Parenting

That is what I refer to as spiritual parenting - having conscious awareness so I know what to emphasize.

I like to live with such a quiet mind that reactions are at a bare minimum, which also means that fear and human concepts are at a bare minimum. I notice my children (who are now young adults) aren't too reactive. I see the peace in their pause.

I am not saying that because this is the way I parented my children have turned out alight. I didn't have an expectation that because I am living this way, they would or should. Their father has a collective conscious view on life, very human. But Truth won out, as it always does.

Remember, your children are ALREADY ALIGHT and their expression is up to THEM. I don't want to influence it, I want to provide it with the freedom of expression.

I know with my boys that they are a done deal. I therefore know that they don't need my (human parent) influence. Just my being in MY own truth is all the influence they need to be able to do the same - to find THEIR own truth.

If I were mute, unable to talk with them, no sign language ability, and I lived predominantly in the awareness of Truth, that would be the strongest influence on their light and lives.

Then I am free to reduce the clutter and FOLLOW THEM, operate as a parent ALONGSIDE THEM. Serving THEIR unfolding Light and Purpose is the greatest service in Truth I can be as their parent.

In Service To Truth

The only thing I am here for, as parent, is to serve my children's Truth, freedom and uniqueness of being. I can always tell if there is no peace in my pause - it's when I have met another one of my OWN concepts that I must lift through.

Modeling is molding. Parenting is 90% being and 10% doing. If something is 'missing' or unresolved, it is I myself who have stepped out of the truth. In Truth everything is complete.

My youngest son had such curiosity as a child he would push things beyond their limit and often break them. I always said to him and to his dad (whomever needed an explanation), that that kind of curiosity "will one day discover the cure for cancer".

I know now that in Truth there is no cancer, but you understand the point. That kind of continual pushing beyond what is already 'acceptable' or 'known to be the way' is the very seeking of being that reveals more and greater truth at its every step.


I believe all of the forgiveness meditations I did for my parents, around SO many concepts and beliefs - both indoctrinated and imagined - quieted my 'fight or flight' instinct and left me in a neutral pause throughout most of my parenting interactions.

In other words, there was no fear, only really strong intuition and love.

Imagine all of that peace fertilizing the souls of the children AND all of their friends - all who came in contact with us as a family, together and separately. I probably carried forward only 40% of my parents concepts and worked most of that out separately in parenthood. Less 'baggage' for the world. Each bag has been individually 'checked' against Truth and dissolved therein.

Code Breaking

Imagine growing up Jewish in Beverly Hills? That was me. Imagine how much baggage (concepts) that brings with it!

A Jewish child has generations of concepts ingrained into its consciousness from the day of conception. The forgiveness work I realized I had to do in order to recognize my parents not as 'Jewish' but as Truth was the greatest gift of freedom FOR ALL!

What we’re doing here is code breaking from the collective consciousness to Truth.

Always, your children know who they are and what's right for them. In the big picture I'm not going to tell them the 'right' thing to do (apart from small things like brushing teeth, bathing, being respectful and so on). I don't know what's right for them as WELL as they do, anymore than I know how bananas grow on banana trees. I encourage their inner voice, and don't talk them out of it.

They knew when it was time to walk; their teeth knew when to come in; puberty knew its time, and so on through EVERY step of their beautiful unfoldment.

Unconscious Driving, Eating and Parenting

People go unconscious while driving, eating , and parenting. The collective slips back in especially during these activities.

You have to adjust your nervous system to live by Spirit only. To really slow down to HEAR Omniscience. Living moment by moment IN and AS Truth. You have to keep everything still. "The still waters reflect heaven."

The mind wants to steer the ship into a safe harbor. The ship IS the harbor. We must live in this way, fully in the Presence. We must 'work' on faith only, not finances, health, relationships, children.

The Journey Is Within

Never make your children wrong. Don’t deny their reality. If you have a different 'take' on things express your take on it but allow your children their reality. Express your 'opinion' in the spirit of give and take.

Then long after you're not in their day to day lives, they will welcome the ideas of others and be able to confidently experience their 'truth'. The opinions of others won't be able to sway their sense of what is true for them.

Ideally when they know the Truth, they can't be talked out of it so they can stay connected to their inner voice which is always their guidance.

As we know, 'if you can name it, it isn’t It'. We also know if we can name our children’s Truth, it also can’t be It.

REMEMBER: Your children already ARE the Light.

Honestly, what are we REALLY doing here? Raising consciousness. That’s it. Knowing/Being Truth. It's our individual within-ness that speaks.

If our children are more interested in pleasing (for approval) or conversely rebelling (same coin) they're living externally.

Make the INTERNAL a destination, filled with All. Life Itself lives as these children. Quiet the activated personal sense so we can witness His Life as all children (persons). As they grow, marvel and love them predominantly.

If you find yourself unable to rest in this ask yourself, What is underneath my unrest? What is my fear? Is my fear (although erroneous) even current? If it's not current - either preventing something imaginary that might happen in the future or making up for something in the past - then the work is YOURS dear parents. It has little to do with the brilliant lights you've named as your children.

Fear, as we know, applies to the personal sense. Does Omniscience or Omnipotence have fear? Of course not. Therefore fear only exists in the personal sense (which means it's not Truth).

I have found the thing that rids me of fears of the future is naming them, knowing the truth, and becoming willing for them to happen.

Remember, in 30 years of living this way only one of my fears happened. And it was not a fear for my children. It happened because firstly it was not Truth, and secondly while it was happening I wasn’t afraid.

If I'm making up for something that happened in the past, then forgiveness work was the single most effective road to freedom of the personal sense that believed the story the fear told, the thing that freed me to be an intuitive parent, not a role of parent (that which I think I should be and do).